Misadventures in the Land of Fables #72
AMBROSE BIERCE’S ‘FANTASTIC FABLES’
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The title ‘Fantastic Fables’ is as misleading as the cover image. These are not ‘fantastic’ or ‘fantastical.’ You might call them whimsical if they weren’t so deeply misanthropic and if the characters weren’t figures of contemporary life, familiar objects of satire (politicians, clergy, doctors, judges). These are the caustic amusements of a world-weary journalist too acquainted with the bad side of probably just about everyone.
They are fables, to the extent that they adopt the fable form, a short simple narrative or dialogue with a resolution that produces or points to a message. But they feel more satirical than didactic: the message boiling down to ‘don’t be fooled, kid’ or ‘they’re all the same’ and the effect, despite the agile wit, so dispiriting—literally demoralizing—that there’s little else to do but reach for the bourbon like the most stereotypical hard-bitten newspaperman.
The last third of the collection, the Aesopus Emandatus, features riffs on Aesopic originals. Bierce doesn’t do much of note with them. For example, with ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’ the twist is the tortoise doesn’t realise the hare had in fact won the race and only fell asleep when returning to cheer on his rival. Meanwhile, when the dog attacks its own reflection, mistaking it for another, he pulls from the pond a piece of meat discarded by a butcher’s boy. Bierce is witty and sharp, but his disillusionment reflexively trivialises anything pretending to wisdom.
But there are few good entries, two of these are originals:
The Man and the Eagle
“An Eagle was once captured by a Man, who clipped his wings and put him in the poultry yard, along with the chickens. The Eagle was much depressed in spirits by the change.
“Why should you not rather rejoice?” said the Man. “You were only an ordinary fellow as an eagle; but as an old rooster you are a fowl of incomparable distinction.”
A Needless Labour
“After waiting many a weary day to revenge himself upon a Lion for some unconsidered manifestation of contempt, a Skunk finally saw him coming, and posting himself in the path ahead uttered the inaudible discord of his race. Observing that the Lion gave no attention to the matter, the Skunk, keeping carefully out of reach, said:
“Sir, I beg leave to point out that I have set on foot an implacable odour.”
“My dear fellow,” the Lion replied, “you have taken a needless trouble; I already knew that you were a Skunk.”
And the other is snappy revision of ‘The Ant and the Grasshopper,’ in which the fact that, for all their industry, the ant is not a producer but a gatherer and an opportunist is turned against their smug claims of prudence and merit.
The Grasshopper and the Ant
“One day in winter a hungry Grasshopper applied to an Ant for some of the food they had stored.
“Why,” said the Ant, “did you not store up some food for yourself, instead of singing all the time?”
“So I did,” said the Grasshopper; “so I did; but you fellows broke in and carried it all away.”
‘Fantastic Fables‘ was published in 1899 and is out of copyright. You can read or download the complete volume at Archive.org and Project Gutenberg.