A dung beetle found a snail shell that was covered in cow muck and mistook it for an enormous ready-made ball of poo. The shell was much heavier, and harder, than the standard lump of fecal matter, but the beetle was undaunted. He shoved and squeezed, grunted and pushed until, finally, he managed to get the ball home to his store.

But once the shell had come to a halt, the snail, who had been inside the entire time, felt safe to emerge. Raising its antennae, it immediately set off on its way again. The beetle was outraged at this turn of events. “Come back!” he cried. “Where do you think you are going? I didn’t bust a gut to get you here only for you to roll away, you ungrateful piece of shit.”

© Richard Parkin 2026

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